Highways of Zion.

How blessed is the man whose strength is in You, In whose heart are the highways to Zion!

Passing through the valley of Baca [weeping], they make it a spring. The early rain also covers it with blessing

PS LXXXIV

I’m not a crier. I don’t need to make a scene. It’s not about me. I’m a strong person. Stop bringing attention to yourself. There are people dying or hunger on the streets. Don’t even go there. Your pain isn’t nearly an ounce of the pain the world feels. Don’t feel. You don’t need to feel. You just need to think. Think on God’s love. Think on Jesus dying for you. He didn’t die for you to cry! You’re free, right? You’re a Christian, right? You’re a daughter of God. Why are you crying for?

The voice of my accuser. I’ve learned to recognize it. I never knew how important it was to be in tune with it: from the beginning, it was always about learning how to hear God’s voice. Not Satan’s. You’re quite spiritualizing the matter. But the father of Lies is behind every lie, despite what vessel he uses (others, yourself). How long I’ve lived this way? My whole life. Until this year. Until I realized that emotionally healthy is intertwined with being spiritually healthy (thanks to the findings of a NYC pastor, Pete Scazzero, as well as Bethel’s pastor, Danny Silk). Until I realized I’ve been lying to myself and therefore not really getting to know myself, the self that God created special, unique, with purpose and with limits so that I could recognize His limitless, undefined, ever-increasing, ever-going being. It’s right at the end of myself that I know Him and also know myself. But you must be willing to go through the valley. You cannot skip it. I’ve tried so hard to skip it. I wanted to only be on the mountains. I wanted to learn from others’ mistakes so that I wouldn’t have to experience failure, hardship, pain. I realized these things that affect me are not to my death but fullness of life: ” In whose heart are the highways to Zion!”

Jesus, I am willing to let my heart weep before you when life gets hard, my sin is burdensome, and the facades of this world are revealed. With all gravity, I’m thankful that you will be there in the midst of it all. Joy always comes. Your rain always comes. I trust you God. Amen. 

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